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25 Seriously Funny Parenting Tweets That Will Have You Laughing For Days On End

25 Seriously Funny Parenting Tweets That Will Have You Laughing For Days On End

“Instead of saying, ‘Goodnight, Mommy,’ my kid said, ‘Rest in peace, Mommy,’ and now I’m a little afraid to go to sleep.”

We rounded up some of the most hilarious recent tweets from parents that we could find, and they will 100% give you the laughs you need and deserve right about now:

1.

It’s incredible how fast toddlers move. I had my eyes on my 1yo and looked away for 30 seconds and now I need to pick her up at the airport.

02:36 PM – 31 Oct 2020

2.

Me: this day is stressing me…I need a drink.

3yo: here ya go dad *hands me his milk*

Me: got anything stronger?

3yo: yep! MOM CAN YOU GET DAD A CHOCOLATE MILK

06:48 PM – 03 Nov 2020

3.

My favorite toddler memory is when my daughter called her trail mix “nut snack”. I can still see the stunned faces of friends and family when she’d casually say things like, “I love eating nut snack,” or “mommy, taste my nut snack!”

01:14 PM – 22 Oct 2020

5.

I just yelled “WAKE UP,” to which my 4 year old responded “WHYDONTYOUPUTONALITTLEMAKEUP,” so no one question my parenting ever again.

03:10 PM – 15 Oct 2020

6.

Instead of saying, “Good night, mommy,” my kid said, “Rest in peace, mommy,” and now I’m a little afraid to go to sleep.

01:00 AM – 07 Oct 2020

7.

If I learned just one thing as a parent, it’s that by the 3rd kid they can be juggling samurai swords and hand grenades and you won’t care as long as they’re doing it quietly.

12:02 PM – 18 Oct 2020

8.

I left the front door open while I put stuff in the car and 3 came to the door and yelled THERES A HUGE POOP IN THE TOILET AND I THINK ITS YOURS MUMMY and that’s why we have to move

06:28 PM – 27 Oct 2020

10.

Me: get off that Xbox, it’s too violent

Son: what can we play instead?

Me: come sit down. this is hangman, an educational, family-friendly game where you get executed if you’re dumb

01:38 PM – 18 Oct 2020

11.

I want to be more optimistic about aging but my 5 year old just found out I am 30 today and now she’s claiming the jewelry she wants to have when I’m dead.

09:25 PM – 24 Oct 2020

12.

[6 AM]

Child [coming out of bedroom]: What language do babies think in?

Me [rubbing temples]: it’s way too early for this

11:37 AM – 17 Oct 2020

13.

watching annie with the kids and now they want me to put them in an orphanage so a wealthy person can adopt them

02:59 PM – 17 Oct 2020

14.

I showed the kids how to do some algebra today, and now one boy is sobbing and the other is hiding under the table. Nailed it.

05:22 PM – 02 Nov 2020

15.

When I ask my 3 year old to do something he keeps saying “I can but I don’t want to” and to be fair I wish I had that kind of confidence

09:40 PM – 01 Nov 2020

17.

Buy your toddler clothes with lots of snaps and buttons if you’ve ever thought it would be cool to do a puzzle that tries to kick you and run away while you solve it

01:44 AM – 20 Oct 2020

18.

Kids will interrupt your really important conversations to ask questions like, “which door do you think the zombies will come through? The front door or the back door?”

02:36 PM – 05 Nov 2020

19.

My son has a shirt that says, “my dad can beat up your dad,” and honestly thats too much pressure

01:13 PM – 29 Oct 2020

20.

To entice my 3yo to poop in the toilet, we told him he gets a Kinder egg if he does it

He now poops in small deposits multiple times a day and asks for the chocolate each time

He’s a genius

02:06 PM – 04 Nov 2020

21.

My 3 year old calls people “humans” as in, “what is that human doing in that car?” And it’s creepy in the most adorable way.

03:23 PM – 30 Oct 2020

22.

At my house we don’t play the floor is lava. We play the floor is legos and there’s real consequences when you misstep.

08:44 PM – 29 Oct 2020

23.

50% of parenting a toddler is deciding if the object they’re about to break is worth getting up off the couch

05:41 PM – 27 Oct 2020

24.

spent 20 minutes getting my kids to agree on a tv show then they all followed me into the bathroom and watched me pee instead

02:29 PM – 02 Nov 2020

25.

8-year-old: What are we having for dinner?

Me: I don’t know. What’s something you won’t complain about?

8: I’ll get back to you.

10:13 PM – 02 Nov 2020

If you think these parents are as funny as I do, be sure to follow them on Twitter!

Source: 25 Seriously Funny Parenting Tweets That Will Have You Laughing For Days On End

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